Before i met you, i wasn't big on love,
i was convinced that love is not for me,
because everything that i have been through
i didn't expect anyone to understand me
and i grew tired of explaining myself to people
explaing who i am and what led me to become the person i am today,
but you...
Oh you should have seen me when i was in love.
This is the message that started it all.
What I didn't realize then was that, one day,
this girl would become my favorite chapter.
Every story has a beginning.
Ours started with two words.
"Knock knock."
And somehow,
one message became conversations,
conversations became memories,
and memories became us.
i remember every conversation, every promise we made, and how she made me feel every single day, without her, im empty
and i remember the letters we wrote, every single detail on those letters and how reading them made me smile
This night, i cant even describe the way i felt that night, when i heard those words out of her mouth, in that minute she made me feel like the world doesnt matter, it was just us.
We had the conversations.
The connection.
The kind of comfort that usually takes people years to build.
It came to us in months.
I know she felt it as well, the way we clicked.
She became part of my everyday life so naturally.
She has changed me, and she changed my life,
day after day with her, i never wanted to be alone again, not without her.
It wasn't just the big moments.
It was the good mornings.
The late night calls.
The screenshots. The memes
The jokes nobody else understood.
The way my day felt different when she was in it.
I found myself going back.
Some nights were louder than others.
Photos
On This Day
1 year ago
Esther, i know i hurt you, im not going to sit here and tell you that i didn't know what i was doing when i did, i am bullshit, and there's no going back from that, but my love for you wasn't, not even for a second, oh how i wish you'd know how much i did love you, still do, and the respect that i have for you, its okay if everyone in the world lost faith in me, but with you it was always different, for you to see me as pain that you need to heal from, makes me wanna fall to my knees.
Right now, I'm about to lose my only home, settlers have built a settlement, next to our house, and they made plans to take it all our lands for thier new settlement expansion, its up to me to find my family a place outside this country, i don't know where im going to take them, but we have no more place here in the next year, im moving far away and im starting from scratch somewhere and i wish i had my person through all of this. The thought of doing all of this again one more time all alone, beats the hell out of me, but im the only son of this family, and it is my job. Always been my job, everyone is relying on me, and i would be lying if i said im not exhausted, or tired and all of me doesnt want to do it, there is no energy left to fight, but im not going to give up, the same way im not giving up on you. thats who i am, and thats the man you fell in love with, you told me you thought i was different, but i am, i made one mistake, and i wanna make up for this mistake, no matter how much you push me away.
No matter where i am, you will always be a part of me. Like i said, one day our paths will cross again.
Can we begin forever? Will you let me love you forever?
Today is Friday, if i dont hear from you till next friday, then i take it you made your decision, but that doesn't mean im going to give up. I hope i do hear from you.
